Blind Spot
by AstroVixen
Summary: Genshiken fanfic KousakaSaki pairing [oneshotcomplete]. What has life been like for our pair after the Genshiken series ended? Read and find out. Well, my idea of it anyway...


Standard Disclaimer: _Genshiken_ and its characters are the ideas and property of Shimoku Kio. No money is intended to be made off of this fanfic. Do not take this fic and post it anywhere. …Please.

This is a one-shot fic of Saki/Kousaka. Rated M. Reader beware.

_**Blind Spot**_

By AstroVixen

"Ma…Makoto, I'm home." Saki was still a little hesitant at calling Kousaka by his first name. Even though they've been married for a month, she'd been calling him Kousaka for years. "Hello? Are you home?" _I guess he hasn't come home from work yet._

Saki was used to Kousaka coming home late. She knew he stayed at the office late working on deadlines for the erotic games he worked on. It's just that she was usually at work later than he was, so more often than not, he would be home first.

_No…wait…he can't be…_ Saki's heart plunged as she tore off her shoes and headed down the hallway in front of the door to the second door on the left—the family room—where she hoped Kousaka wouldn't be entranced with a game. Much to Saki's dismay, her blonde-haired husband of one month was frenetically tapping the buttons on the controller to his PS2. Saki sighed.

"Makoto." She paused waiting for a response. "**Makoto.**" Her voice grew louder. The pattern of sound coming from Kousaka's playing hadn't slowed down or skipped a beat. Saki bit her lip and fought back a tear as she turned around, headed back to the entrance of their house, put on her shoes, opened the door looking back toward the hallway, and seeing no one, slammed the door as she left.

It was already eight o'clock and the sun had gone down. The fall season chilled the wind that howled against her bare legs as she walked down the street toward the train station. The cold weather only made her angrier and hastened her resolve to find some other place to stay for the night.

_Why did I think things would be different? I would have been better off being Kousaka's girlfriend than Makoto's wife. Even though it was only a little more that he paid attention to me back then, I still felt more secure than I do now with a ring on my finger and my name on his family's register. When he proposed to me after graduation, I thought that he was finally ready to commit to me. I should have known from the way he proposed to me that he wasn't likely to change. That jerk did it in Akihabara by having his proposal on signs and in lights. Perhaps I just pushed from my mind that he was an otaku a bit too much, enough that I wasn't able to foresee this anyway. How stupid I was. _

The sounds of a train nearing brought Saki out of her deep thoughts and back to reality. Maybe she should call the house and talk things over before leaving, but wait, she wasn't leaving Kousaka for good, was she? Even as second thoughts and doubt plagued her mind she still passed through the gates and waited for the train to stop. She turned around hoping again to see her husband waiting for her, but he wasn't, so she turned around boarded the train.

_I guess I'll stay at the Plaza in Shibuya. It is a Friday night after all. I can spend tomorrow shopping. Perhaps that will make me feel a little better… Maybe I should call him when I get there and then he'll persuade me to come home. No, that won't do. I should call him after I check in and tell him that I'll be staying away but that he shouldn't worry. No, no. He needs to make the first move. He needs to call me. But…will he?_ Saki sighed again, and opened her eyes. The train was a stop away from Shibuya.

"Ahhh… I always feel better after some _Final Fantasy_." Kousaka put the controller on the floor and arched his back, reversing the hunched over position he was in while playing his game. GUGRRR… The gamer's stomach growled and trailed off before it growled again. Kousaka looked toward the clock on the DVD player and saw that it was 8:30 PM. _Man, I wonder where Saki is. Normally she's home by 8:00 and either has bought dinner on her way home or is in the kitchen starting dinner. Maybe I'll surprise her. _Kousaka left his spot on the floor where he had been for the past three hours and went to the kitchen. He was surprised himself when he didn't see any food on the table or his wife. "Saki? Saki-chan?" He left he kitchen and went to the bath, maybe she was tired from work and soaking. "Saki, are you in here?" He peeked around the door. The room was empty. _Maybe she just isn't home yet. _Sure enough, when Kousaka looked for her shoes at the doorway, they weren't there. **GUGRRR… **

"Just a single room, Madam?" The concierge apparently didn't think that he heard her right the first time. "Let me see what we have available." He took to his keyboard and the sound of the clicking and clacking of the keys as he swiftly typed panged her heart. "We have few rooms--"

"Something facing West please, I don't want the sun to come pouring into my windows in the morning." Saki cut him off figuring that if there was more than one room available, there was bound to be on side of the hotel.

"We have a room--"

"The highest floor available." Saki had been in enough hotels, the Plaza included, that she knew what the concierge was going to ask next. "I do not require a wake-up call and I am aware of the services and facilities that this hotel offers. And I will pay for the room now, and yes, checkout is at 1:00 PM."

The attendant was already feeling a bit uneasy after being cut off so many times he just went along to process the check in as quickly as possible. He didn't want to irritate and already irate person any more than necessary. He took the credit card Saki placed on the counter, and almost just as quickly handed over the bill to sign and a receipt. He gave her the room key and thanked her for choosing their hotel.

Having made the decision to stay away from Kousaka and force him to have the first move by default (as she was not going to call him), she realized that she had made an aggressive decision. Saki was an aggressive woman overall, but when Kousaka's concerned, something always held her back. Was it insecurity? Was it love? Or was it just…Kousaka? _If only I could tell Kousaka just what I wanted and not worry about what he might say or think… If only it were as easy as getting this room._

Saki looked the windows at lit-up Tokyo. It was only 9:00 PM according to the red LCD reflection in the glass, but she was tired. From her 20th-story room with the windows closed, she could faintly hear the sounds of nightlife and wondered if she made the right decisions. She imagined all the couples outside holding hands, having fun… She remembered how she and Kousaka dated before they were married and when he wasn't in his otaku mode. She always told herself and others that Kousaka was different, but now…she wasn't so sure.

With a pluff she connected with the bed. All she had was her purse—no overnight bag, no clothes to sleep in, no Kousaka to share the rest of the evening with. She took off her heels and the rest of her clothes and put on the robe provided by the hotel. She started to draw a bath and then dashed for her purse, fumbling through the depths of it to find her cell phone. Perhaps she had missed a call or a message—perhaps he SMSed her—but she'd need to find her phone to know for sure. She found it, and after looking at the screen, sighed again and went to take a bath.

It was 9:30 by the time Kousaka had ordered takeout, eaten it and stared for 30 minutes at the other side of the table with the second half of the food he left for Saki. By this time he grew a little worried. Perhaps, he thought, Saki had to go out after work with coworkers to celebrate one thing or another. He got up and went to the answering machine. The light was blinking. That must have been it, and he didn't hear the phone ring so she left a message. He pressed the play button.

"Message one. Today at 12:32 PM."

"Hey Saki, it's Satoko. Mineko and I wanted to know if you wanted to meet us in Shibuya tomorrow for a girls' afternoon. Call me and let me know." BEEP.

"Message two. Today at 6:00 PM."

"Kousaka-senpai, it's Fuyuda. The new porn magazines that you were looking for before you left the office have arrived. I put them on your desk." BEEP. To anyone else, this would have been a weird message to receive.

"Message three. Today at 6:36 PM."

"Makoto, I have to stay late at the office again today, but I should be home before eight o'clock. Let's go out to dinner tonight." BEEP.

"Message four. Today at 8:15 PM."

"Hey Saki, it's Mineko. Something came up and I can't make Saturday. I called Satoko and asked if she could do Sunday if you could. She had no problems. Call me and let me know." BEEP.

"End of messages. Press play to--" Kousaka cut the machine short. Saki had called but not about being later than normal. She said she wanted to go out to dinner, and she didn't give a place to meet, so Kousaka knew that meant she was coming home first. But if that's the case, why hasn't she shown up or called since? _Maybe she was delayed on the way and sent a text message… _Kousaka went back into the family room to get his cell. No messages. Kousaka was even more worried now. What could have happened to her? He couldn't have missed her—he was home before she left work and hadn't left since—and it wouldn't have been possible for him not to hear her coming back… _But wait… Those last three messages were left after I got home—I didn't even hear the phone ring… But Saki wouldn't have come home and just left… She's never done that before… _

Kousaka Makoto wasn't the type of man to get worried easily, and he was more indifferent than most. But something about the situation didn't sit well with him. He flipped open his phone, pressed "1" and hit the send key.

With all but her nose underwater, Saki concentrated on the sounds of the water and the soft hum that reverberated through the tub. _Why is it that I am weak when it comes to Makoto…? Hah… I guess part of me knows that he doesn't need me. There's nothing I can do for him that he can't do for himself… Even sex… He has so many porn magazines and erotic-game magazines and porn and hentai to keep him satisfied. His studio even hires models for CG modeling… With looking at beautiful women and fantasy-imaged girls all day, he must not even find me attractive… I don't want to be kept around because he's afraid of hurting my feelings. No matter how close I am to Makoto…I'm just in his blind spot…_

Feeling lightheaded, Saki brought herself out of the water and took a few deep breaths to calm her nerves. DAA DA DAA LAA DA DAA. Saki's eyes shot wide open and she jumped out of the tub leaving puddles in her trail as she ran for her phone. Without taking the time to see who the caller was, she eagerly flipped it open and said, "Hello?"

"Hi Saki-**chan**. Ha ha ha." She knew the feminine voice who playfully added "chan" to her name.

"Mineko, what's up?"

"Haven't you gotten our messages?"

"Messages?"

"Yeah, Satoko called earlier and left a message at your house about making plans for tomorrow, but I wanted to know if we could push it to Sunday. Are you free?"

"Uh, I don't know." Saki wasn't in the mood to be making plans for two days away.

"Oh, come on, Saki. We'll go shopping, have lunch… Spend time without our husbands…" At this point, Saki didn't know if she would have a husband to spend time without in two days.

But, not wanting to worry or upset her friends, she replied, "Sure! Why not? Sounds fun. When and where?"

"Hmm… How about at your favorite restaurant in Shibuya, L'Argen, at 2:00? I can call for reservations and let Satoko know."

"Great. I'll see you two then. Bye."

"Talk to you later!" BLIP. Saki ended the call. Dropping the phone on the bed she went back to the bathroom to rinse off and put the robe on. She looked at herself in the mirror while towel-drying her hair. _Maybe I really am not attractive enough for Makoto… Maybe this really is the end of us… _DAA DA DAA LAA DA DAA. Dropping the towel, Saki ran again from the bathroom to her phone and again without looking at who it was who was calling she answered, "Hello?"

"Oh, Saki." It was Kousaka. "I'm glad I finally got a hold of you. I tried calling earlier, but you didn't pick up."

_When did he… Oh, I must have been while I was in the bath…_

"I thought you might have been mad at me. Where are you? I got your message that you'd be home by 8:00. Did you go out with your coworkers?"

Saki thought long and hard about what to say next. He called her. He took the first step. If she didn't… "Saki…? Saki-chan?"

"Oh… I'm… Ma…Makoto, I…"

"…Saki…? What is it? Is something wrong?" Kousaka tensed up and the tone of his voice became more urgent.

"Meet me tomorrow, at Twyenne in Shibuya at 2:30." BLIP. Saki hung up before she would lose any more resolve to change her situation. With her phone clutched in her hand, she crawled under the covers and did her best to get to sleep.

Silence. Kousaka hadn't found out anything about Saki, only that (he assumed) she was safe. _Twyenne is where we went for dinner after I proposed to her. We haven't been there since then. Why would she... Where is she…_ He slowly closed his phone and the clack of the two joined pieces hitting one another seemed to echo loudly throughout the empty house. He sat on the floor where he was just hours before but he didn't turn on the TV. He just sat there staring at the doorway. He thought long and hard. _She called earlier saying we should go out to dinner, and when I got a hold of her, we still could have gone out for a late meal… But she wanted to do lunch instead. She didn't even say where she was or when she'd be home. Should I wait up?_

Kousaka decided to go to bed. He didn't even take the opportunity of being alone to satisfy himself. Normally he'd go right for his left and a magazine if he had a moment and stress to relieve. Now he regretted turning down his wife because he was already spent.

Saki got to the restaurant at 2:15. She checked out of the Plaza a little before 11:00 and so she wouldn't be wearing the same clothes as yesterday when she confronted her husband, she went shopping for a dress that would accentuate all of her best features. She even used her customer status at her favorite spa to get an immediate appointment for a massage, hair and makeup. Saki was determined to look and feel her best. She needed all the confidence she could muster if she wasn't going to back down before Kousaka even found out what she'd be backing down from. As she approached Twyenne earlier than she was supposed to meet Kousaka she thought to get a table first and wait for him inside.

But after all that preparation, nothing seemed to stick when she saw him at the restaurant, waiting for her outside. Despite being well-dressed, his hair was wet and his appearance disheveled. He turned his head and saw her. Kousaka started to move toward her, but stopped when he saw the pained expression on his wife's face.

That's right. Wife. It was something that the detached-blonde seemed to have forgotten. Before they were married he knew Saki was his girlfriend, but after they married, he realized he had taken her for granted more than he had before…

Saki was startled when Kousaka turned and saw her, and then dismayed when he stopped short of moving in her direction. This time again, she decided she would wait for him to make the first move. Straightening her back and looking right into Kousaka's eyes, Saki silently implored him to come to her. He couldn't have been more than 15 feet away. Kousaka looked towards the ground for what seemed like hours to the one waiting before he looked up again to see her face. He took one step, then two steps then closed the space between them in another four.

Kousaka closed his eyes and inhaled deeply to calm his nerves. He slept fitfully the night before and was troubled at every possible scenario from when he woke up until he saw her face. And when he saw her, he could only think of being near her—but he didn't want to approach her not knowing her reaction—so he threw his doubts to the wind for that moment.

"Saki. I'm glad you're safe. I… I…was worried about you. I heard your message and when you didn't come home, I---"

"Let's discuss this in private in the restaurant, OK?" He nodded.

"Ko… Makoto, I want you to listen to me… Please." She fiddled with her fingers before continuing, increasing her partner's unease. They had requested seating in the private room, so Saki wasn't hindered in telling Kousaka what had been in her mind, but to actually be saying it was something else entirely.

"You aren't preg—"

"I asked you to listen! And no…I'm not pregnant. I want to separate." Kousaka opened his mouth to respond before Saki continued. "I know we've only been married for a month, but you treat me worse—I get less respect—than when we were just dating. Last night, I called to let you know I wanted to go out to dinner, and when I got home, I called your name and you didn't respond. I found you gaming and called your name, but you didn't even know I was there. Even louder I said your name to get your attention, and you didn't flinch. Even after the door slammed after me as I left, I kept looking for you behind me, but you never appeared.

"Even before last night you've been neglecting me. When I wanted to be intimate you were already out of the mood. Do you know how it makes a wife feel when her husband is no longer attracted to her? When he no longer seeks her out for his needs? I've come to the realization that…you…no longer need me. I'm not sure if you ever did." Saki looked at the table. "I…may even want a divorce…" She looked up into the eyes that didn't move as part of a stunned expression. "I want a family, Makoto. And I… I can't have that with you. I want a father for my children who puts his family and not his work first. I want a husband who sees me as the love of his life! I want a life where I'm happy! I thought I could have that with you…but in the end, it seems that I was just chasing a dream…" Her eyes which hadn't shed a tear in over 12 hours started well up and release the feelings she had been bundling up inside.

Kousaka felt as if he'd just lost to the final boss and hadn't saved his game since he started playing. He may not be the most socially adept person, but he wasn't stupid. He knew he loved Saki, he was also beginning to realize that his love for Saki wasn't like his love for games, and anime… He couldn't just silently love her, and use her—he had to express his feelings and nurture her… He needed to be a man to his wife, not a roommate. He had to stop taking her for granted.

"Saki-chan, I'm sorry."

"Huh?"

"Last night, when I realized you weren't home when I expected you and found out you said you would be coming home, but didn't—I was worried—I was unsure of what to do. I was relieved when I heard your voice, but after you hung up, I didn't know where you were or when you would be coming home…if you were coming home. It made me uneasy. I kept wondering why, what could have happened, and it crossed my mind that perhaps you did come home and leave without me noticing, but I dismissed it because you never left before. And now…I know that I've taken you for granted. Even though you've been near me, I haven't noticed your feelings—I haven't kept my promises to you I made when we wed. I… I've let you down. I haven't been able to see you… You've been in my blind spot…"

"Makoto…you…"

"I've failed you, Saki. I'm sorry. I've put my needs and wants ahead of yours. Even when we first started dating, I worked **us** around **me**. The Genshiken guys once told me how you indirectly asked if we did it doggy style because _KujiUn_ was on…and that's why I…put you in that position. But Saki-chan, you're the most important person in my life. I don't want to hurt you anymore." He put his hands on the table and steadied himself up. "Since you asked, and you rarely ask me for anything… I'll give you what you want this time. I'll get an apartment as soon as possible and leave." He pushed his chair in and walked away from the table.

"You coward."

Kousaka turned around. "What?"

"You heard me this time. I called you a coward! Don't you love me at all! Don't you know me at all! How can you—"

"How can I? You're the one who finally said what you wanted. Who—"

"You're my husband! That's who! Fight for me! You can fight for the heroine in all your games, but you can't fight for your own, real, breathing wife! Did I give you an easy out!" The knife Saki threw at him caused his chest to throb and his composure to break down.

Kousaka rushed back to the table and leaned over it in a way that could be seen as menacing. "An easy out? Tell me, Saki, what is easy about being separated from you? What is easy about a divorce? Tell me what you want and I'll do my best to give it to you! You're my wife! Without you my life is empty, just like the house was without you in it—full of everything but empty inside!" His words were impassioned and fierce and her ears listened with rapt attention to every syllable.

_Maybe there is hope for us yet…_ This one thought retied the red string of fate that kept bringing them together.

"Makoto, this is strange, I feel weird!" Saki screamed out from under the covers in their bedroom.

"I want to try something new. I want you to be my inspiration for my next game. I'm going to call it _Classy Girl_…" Kousaka grinned playfully next to her. "Come on, let me see…"

"Fine." Saki sighed and got out of bed and stood on the floor. She blushed and looked away as her husband's eyes devoured her.

She was dressed skimpy—in a small string bikini—so hardly anything was left to imagination. Besides, Kousaka wouldn't have to imagine anyway…he's already seen her flesh. "Makoto, this is embarrassing…"

"Well, there's a scene in the game where the main character goes to the beach. Now, why don't you do some jumping jacks…"

"Makoto!"

"Well, the main girl will be playing volleyball…but since we're in the house, this will be fine as an improvisation." Kousaka grinned.

Saki, feeling needed by her husband, decided to go along with his plan. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. "Ah! My top—"

"Just let it go. I want to see everything. I want to see you moving as if you were riding me… You're my goddess." With each jump, her breasts fell out of her top more and more. And with each jump, Kousaka inched closer toward her, sizing up the situation. "Saki…I'm so turned on right now." He lunged off the bed and grabbed the turned-naked bouncy flesh with each hand. Pulling himself to her he closed in on one of her nipples with his mouth and sucked with immature furor as he fingered her other nipple and then switched it around.

"Ohhh… Ohh…more! Take me mmm…" Kousaka had claimed her mouth wrapping his arms around her, pressing his urgency against her bare skin. He moved backwards toward their bed, guiding her with one hand caressing her lower back and the other entangled in her hair.

Breaking their kiss, with panted gasps he moaned. "Oh, Saki…I love you. I want you to stay with me."

"Makoto, I want to be with you—I want you inside me—right now and in the future… Make me yours again and again!"

Kousaka responded to her pleas by trailing kisses down her neck as he untied the strings for her bikini. When he reached the junction at her neck he bit her softly then harder as he sucked what life force he could from her body—marking her as his. He moved his lips further down toward her chest leaving marks along the way and circling his fingers around the nubs on her breasts. He went back to sucking on her nipples as he thrust against her bottoms. More and more frenzied his pursuits became until he moved his member up and came in close contact with her pleasure point…eliciting a moan from Saki… He jabbed at that area repeatedly causing the same reactions to increase in intensity.

"Makoto…I want you… Take me!"

"Saki…you're so _moe_… All in time… Don't worry… I'll give you what you want…"

"Ahhh! Saki ran her fingers coarsely along his back and surprised him when she flipped him onto his back and kissed a trail down the center of the chest---tonguing his nipples—making her way down past his abs until she licked the tip of his peak and then engulfed it in her mouth. Kousaka responded by putting his fingers to her head, grabbing her hair and moving her head up and down his shaft.

"Mmph…mmm…unn…" Saki's moans were muffled by her husband's determination to keep her close to him.

"I'm gonna come—"

"No…wait… I…want you…to come inside me… Make me the happiest mother on the face of the earth!" Saki looked up at him from between his legs, begging him for more.

"You…you mean it? You want to have kids?"

"I want to have your kids, Makoto…"

"Again…you've made me the happiest man on earth." Kousaka leaned up and pulled his wife toward himself, kissing her passionately, dominating her mouth with his lust. Ripping off her bikini bottom he dominated her once again and went instantly for the crown between her legs. With more attention by his mouth to her core than previously to her nipples he poked, prodded and lashed with his tongue, causing his wife to shake and shiver all over.

Clenching her husbands head she yelled for him to bring her to orgasm—which he did—three times. Relentlessly he devoured her as if she were a banquet with all his favorite foods and when she was almost at her breaking point he soared into her—her head thrown back with new waves of feeling. A slow glide at first, the happiest man in the world threw himself inside her with more force and more speed.

"Saki…I'm gonna come… This is—" The previously indifferent Kousaka was that way no longer… Instead, he was completely devoted and partial to Saki's wants and needs and moaned his pleadings into her ear while he ran his hands over her torso.

Knowing that this was the last chance to possibly avoid a pregnancy, she made her intentions clear as she spoke between her kisses on his neck. "I want all of you… I want to come—" Saki could hold back no longer—with a primal scream—she climaxed into her husband as he began his final ascent into ecstasy.

"Uhhh!" Kousaka reached the pinnacle of his performance, trembled, weakened, and then collapsed on his wife. Saki stroked his hair as he inhaled and exhaled with panted breaths. When their heartbeats slowed to a steady beat, they positioned themselves so they faced one another. Smiling into his wife's eyes, he fingered the strands of her hair that fell across her face.

"Wahhhhhh! Wahhh! Wahhhhh!" the baby's cries pierced through the rooms that separated her from her parents.

Saki looked at the clock and groaned. It was 3:37AM and she had to get up for work in three hours. She started to move when she felt a hand on her shoulder. "I'll take care of Sakiko, honey. You go back to sleep."

This story is my first(?) attempt at a mature(?) fanfic. I also spent extra time with the 'scene' trying to make it more realistic, and less…'in and out' or so to speak…

I've really wanted to write a Saki/Kousaka fic for a while now since this pairing doesn't get enough page-time in the manga. And now that I have, I'm satisfied. I hope after reading it, you're satisfied, too!


End file.
